I write about this very topic often because my entire practice is based on the idea that marketing tactics can improve dating.
Here are some basics that I tell everyone, but we certainly want to refine the tools for your individual needs.
Take better photos.
Absolutely no bathroom selfies after the age of 17. Seriously, you are an adult, have some class. I don’t care how young at heart you feel, we are just done with bathroom selfies.
Actually, you get only 2 selfies. The rest have to be real pictures.
Oh wait, you don’t have any real pictures? OK, then get off the dating site and go get a life and come back when you have at least one friend or family member who is willing to snap a photo of you. Or, if you live alone on an island, you can pay me to fly there and take some pictures.
Seriously, sarcasm aside, you need real photos. A profile with 6 selfies says so many sad things about you that I won’t get into here but it is often a symptom of why a client’s dating has gone so wrong.
Don’t go to great lengths to hide your flaws, specifically waistlines and hairlines. Dudes who are bald need to own it. Photos with 6 baseball caps do not hide the fact that you are bald. However, it does highlight the fact that you are insecure about it which is way more unattractive. Bald guys are hot. Love your gorgeous head. Don’t hide your body either by posting shoulders up only photos. Again, own it. If you cannot take a picture of yourself in the full (dressed up and cute and trying to be stylish of course) then maybe don’t even try. It’s horrible that you don’t feel attractive and I cry for you because you are lacking in self-esteem, but I am not your therapist. I am your image coach and I am here to tell you that your weight is going to be the first thing someone notices when you meet them.
Weight is a real issue and I want to be super sensitive to people who are struggling. Some people are totally happy with their bodies, big or small. I truly want that for every person on this planet. You may have been rejected in the past and I don’t want that to keep happening. Be real with yourself and we can make this a better experience.
I like bigger guys. I am tall and I am not super skinny so I need to feel a man holding me. My best friend likes super skinny (like rocker skinny) dudes. I say, ooh la la and she says ooh gross to the same man as he walks by. Everyone likes something different. Let’s work with the positives and get away from the shame and blame game.
McDonald’s does not try to be a steakhouse. They are authentic. I approach dating in the same way.
Use words that count.
People want to be funny and clever in their posts, but your esoteric phrase or quote likely does not come across well. Your two-word bio is not funny or cute. It tells the world that you cannot spend the time to write something meaningful and that you either believe you are not worth the effort or that your potential mate is not worth the effort. Both are unattractive.
If you can’t write something, ask friends, go online for suggestions, or hire a coach. I can help clients by using my digital marketing expertise to help guide their online presence – from photos to words, to the overall presentation to actual in-person events.
Thanks for this question. It really helps me to understand where you are at and how I can help.