Are dating strategies the same for men and women?

I was asked this question recently in an online AMA (ask me anything) session and I think it is important to cover again.

Are your services available for both men and women, and how does your strategy differ between the two sexes?

Yes, and it doesn’t.

Listen, men and women are vastly different creatures, but honestly, they pretty much want the same things. Branding is branding, but technically, when we fill in the pieces, some things skew one way for men versus women.

For example, men underestimate how important their profile or bio is. Like, you know, they don’t use sentences or punctuation, but then they can’t figure out how they only attract uneducated women.

If you want a smart girl, then you might need to demonstrate that you understand how to use a comma.

Women underestimate looks – or overestimate them. They do something weird that makes them come across as fake and lacking confidence. Like women will post racier pictures, then be super offended when they get offers for one night stands.

If a woman sees a photo of a guy with his shirt off, she doesn’t offer to come over for hot sex. It means something different based on our societal stereotypes.

Now, you can go on and on about how guys are only after one thing (and if you do, I will remind you that you sound like my 75-year-old mother!) but it just simply is not true. Men want love just as much as women do. Women want sex as much as men do.

So it isn’t men versus women, it is how do we find the people that are a good fit for you as a human. We cannot say all men this or all women that.

It’s like that beer company that tried to sell beer in pink cans. Women like beer. The pink just made it irritating and did not encourage any women who do not like beer to start drinking it.

So men and women generally go about life in different ways but branding an individual is based on that individual, regardless of sex parts.

I know a gorgeous, tall, handsome successful man who broke it off with 20 women in a row because each of them got drunk and tried to have sex with him on the first date. Deal break for him. He wanted someone who thought differently about sex. He is all male. He likes sex. He could get sex. He wanted a life partner and he was smart enough to know that a super hot drunk girl could not be assessed as such until she sobered up and put her clothes back on.

Maybe he is so hot that every woman acts like that around him. I think that maybe some of those women possible were not being true to themselves and were acting in a way that they assumed the tall hot guy wanted. He talked to many later who expressed that they made a mistake because they assumed that’s what he expected.

He didn’t get what he wanted because he didn’t spell it out and they didn’t get what they wanted because they presented a version of themselves.

By the way, due to my expertise in assessing the situation and setting him straight, he now has an awesome girlfriend. He says she’s the one. He didn’t even kiss her until like the 3rd date. She was pissed and thought that he didn’t find her attractive because he was so careful with her. Between you, me and the feed, they have tons of hot sex now so it all worked out.

But, I digress. No, I do not give male-only or female-only advice. I give people advice and remind them that they are attempting to attract a person of a specific gender, so let’s take that into consideration.

I would love to chat more and you can reach me here or visit me on Facebook and send a private message.

I help clients by using my digital marketing expertise to help guide their online presence – from photos to words, to the overall presentation to actual in-person events.

Thanks for this question. It really helps me to understand where you are at and how I can help.

Coach JJ

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