I’m doing some generalizations here of hetero men dating hetero women.
Kindness. Ease. Quiet Strength. Openness. Vulnerability. Fun.
Seriously, so men are so tired of getting the shit kicked out of them.
Side rant…we as women have taken our power too far in many cases. I am surrounded by men that are bullied and henpecked and unappreciated. It is ugly and I expect more from women.
Just be kind. Be light and fun and find strength in your vulnerability. Say how you feel (once, not 100 times in 100 texts) and own your feelings.
You are not strong if you have to assert your strength at every turn or put someone down to make you feel bigger.
Men are looking for women who smile kindly when they pronounce the wines incorrectly. Men are looking for women who giggle when they say something stupid that doesn’t sound swauve or cool. Men are looking for women who are quiet when they make a mistake. (Hint: If you shut your mouth for a minute, he will figure out his mistake and likely move quickly to correct it.) Men are looking for women who can be calm. Men are looking for women who are emotional and passionate and wonderfully engaged in life. That is what men crave.
Men want sex. (Spoiler alert, women want sex too!)
But men don’t want it the way we think they do. They want it to be fun and playful and sexy – not coerced and not tied to meaning until THEY decide to tie meaning to it. Men want women who can talk about this without freaking out. If you say you’re down to f*ck, then you better be DTF. Don’t lie then end up cry-texting him for 6 weeks.
Men do not lie about their sexual intentions generally. A player will be a player and not feel shame. Know that and either get on board or move on. I was never a player. Man, I love players but I would end up in a ball crying with they covers pulled over my head. I learned pretty early to communicate my expectations and for the most part, every man that I have ever known has respected that.
So basically men are looking for cool chicks, who are passionate and kind and are confident in their own strengths without being overbearing. Men like women with healthy boundaries and real relationships (no, your made up relationship with the cast of a reality show does not count. Crying because a TV reality start got jilted is not real emotion.)
Good men want good women. Both think the other does not exist. My theory is that we are all searching for similar things, but our words get in the way.
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Thanks for this question. It really helps me to understand where you are at and how I can help.