I can’t speak for all men, but there are three things that keep coming up in my conversations about online dating:

1. Looks

2. Attitude

3. Money

So it’s not that men want all the looks, attitude, and money, it’s women’s approaches in those categories.

Looks are very important to men.

(Big surprise, yes?) Unfortunately, women post pictures that do not look like how they normally look every day in real life. We have to post realistic photos. I cannot stress this enough. So many people (men and women) try to oversell on their looks and it backfires because they are older or heavier or sloppier in real life. It does no good to pretend to be something you are not. Yes, post nice pictures but no, do not post great airbrushed photos from 10 years ago. And do not post only face pictures to try to hide your weight or perceived imperfections. Also don’t post photos that make you look like a shopaholic, alcoholic, superficial, gold digger. The photo of you in front of a Mercedes makes you look materialistic. Even if it is your car, don’t brag. Men want women who are true and making money the priority spoils it for them

The second issue is attitude.

Women seem to need to demean and diminish men from the get-go. We tell them all the things that we don’t like about them and then expect him to show up like prince charming. We unleash our unchecked emotions and then can’t figure out why they didn’t call back. With all of our modern, feminist progress we seem to have taken to dominating men instead of enjoying them. To me, it looks like being weak on the inside so we have to be harsh on the outside to compensate. It makes us ugly.

The last issue is Money (see above.) Women are desperate to have men prove themselves and men seem to think that the way that women want them to do that is through finances. Men feel protective of their resources and feel that women are only after one thing – cold hard cash. Men don’t like the idea of being used. You meet the playboys and the players but most men are hard-working and want to give you everything, but they live in fear of being taken advantage of.

So what can you do in your online dating profile?

1. Post pretty, reasonable photos and work with your real self, not against yourself.

2. Be cheerful and kind, even when men make tiny mistakes (you can be firm if they make huge mistakes.)

3. Don’t be all about the money. Talk about books, and music, and thinks that make you happy that don’t hit their pocketbook.

I help clients by using my digital marketing expertise to help guide their online presence – from photos to words, to the overall presentation to actual in-person events.

Coach JJ