What are your unique coaching attributes?

First of all, I am most interested in talking about others so that might make me unique.

The other thing that makes me unique is I approach this from a consumer psychology mindset and I apply the same steps that I would in marketing a company, product, service or brand.

With the client, we follow these steps

  1. Assess
  2. Analyze
  3. Target
  4. Plan
  5. Act
  6. Learn

It looks and sounds different than a marketing plan to the untrained ear, but to me, it is almost the exact same process. The art of human interaction and the science of experience works in business and it works in real life. And as callous and brash and cold as that sounds, we have to understand that we live in a visual, technology-driven world. Even though our relationship happens in real life, the first connections, introductions, and conversations will most likely start on a digital platform and that experience will form the basis of that relationship. If you can master the art and science of cultivating your authentic self and your most sincere desires online, you will increase your shot at being lucky in love.

In the first step, Assessment, I work with clients to review the online dating platforms they are using and makes sure technology is in alignment with goals. For example, a 65-year-old Christian woman probably does not want to be on Tinder. Maybe, but we would talk about that. We cover a lot of my questions such as what services has she used, what has worked, what are the goals and previous outcomes.

The I analyze all that I have taken in and spend time looking for patterns of thought and behavior that are not connecting. A 40-year-old male keeps dating super hot perfect 10s and is increasingly dissatisfied with his mates. Turns out that while he loves beautiful women, what really keeps him interested is healthy, strong women with some depth. Ok, so how do we start to use words to communicate what he is looking for and how do we prepare him with questions to quickly gauge if someone can go deep with him.

Then we set goals. Everyone has a timeline. Lots of women want to be married by 30. Many want to be married by Christmas. We have an idea of what our perfect life is and while I never promise that, we can build a plan to at least get you there. A woman who has identified that her greatest need is financial security and that she must have a generous partner can easily waste her time trying to rope in a “rich” man. Using the wrong words and presenting a superficial money-focused lifestyle only gets her closer to superficial men who want to control her with money. Security and generosity are very different. Maybe our plan will get her to stop trolling the yacht club and spend more time with her favorite charities.

That type of goal setting will become part of our plan. Which we will do together. I am bossy but I am not doing all of the work for you.

Then, the fun part begins! Clients start dating with a new profile, new pictures, and new stories to frame their communications. There are lots of activities and events, so questions start pouring in. He said this. She did this. I feel whatever about that. We go back to the branding work we did and we develop conversations and actions towards those that fit into our target.

And we learn from that. What worked, what did not, and most importantly, what have I learned about myself in this process.