Oh good one. It’s like an event and it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
- Set it up ahead of time with a nice ask and a plan. ‘Netflix and chill’ is great once you’re together, but a solid first date will set the tone for the entire experience. It can be spontaneous (like I just won tickets for a concert tonight!) but not crazy.
- If you’re a dude, be a gentleman. Even modern ladies like it if you try. Don’t be weird about it but offer to pick her up and drive. Many women will decline (they want to meet in a safe place, with their own car) but it’s nice to ask and a no just means she’s careful.
- Keep the date light. Horror movies, dramatic plays, interpretive readings – those are great later. You want something that is both entertaining, but not overwhelmingly distracting. Food and drink seem to fit the bill for many people.
- Know when and how to end it. A great date could go all night, but the longer it goes, the more chances for the tone to change. Leave on a high note, keep everyone wanting more.
- Follow up. One perfect date with a dude that you don’t hear from for two weeks is no longer a perfect date. If you want the person to like you, stay engaged. If you can’t, say something.
And finally, goodnight kisses. Some people are all in at the get-go, some say no way no matter what. It is not a deal breaker. But my suggestion to men and women is to try the kiss. I’m not saying throw yourself on someone but if after a couple hours you’re not even interested in a sweet goodnight kiss, it’s probably a pass.
I would love to chat more and you can reach me here or visit me on Facebook and send a private message.
Thanks for this question. It really helps me to understand where you are at and how I can help.