Tag: Singles

How to plan the perfect date

To me, as a branding expert, a date is like an event and it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

  1. Set it up ahead of time with a nice ask and a plan. ‘Netflix and chill’ is great once you’re together, but a solid first date will set the tone for the entire experience. It can be spontaneous (like I just won tickets for a concert tonight!) but not crazy.
  2. If you’re a dude, be a gentleman. Even modern ladies like it if you try. Don’t be weird about it but offer to pick her up and drive. Many women will decline (they want to meet in a safe place, with their own car) but it’s nice to ask and a no just means she’s careful.
  3. Keep the date light. Horror movies, dramatic plays, interpretive readings – those are great later. You want something that is both entertaining, but not overwhelmingly distracting. Food and drink seem to fit the bill for many people.
  4. Know when and how to end it. A great date could go all night, but the longer it goes, the more chances for the tone to change. Leave on a high note, keep everyone wanting more.
  5. Follow up. One perfect date with a dude that you don’t hear from for two weeks is no longer a perfect date. If you want the person to like you, stay engaged. If you can’t, say something.

And finally, goodnight kisses. Some people are all in at the get-go, some say no way no matter what. It is not a deal breaker. But my suggestion to men and women is to try the kiss. I’m not saying throw yourself on someone but if after a couple hours you’re not even interested in a sweet goodnight kiss, it’s probably a pass.

I would love to chat more and you can reach me here or visit me on Facebook and send a private message.

Thanks for this question. It really helps me to understand where you are at and how I can help.

Coach JJ

Online Dating for Mature Singles

Dating has changed! We are in such a different place with technology and digital lives than we were even 10 years ago. Lots of us feel like digital natives (millennials who were born with all of this technology and grew up with it.)

Even if you are not a millennial – thank goodness, youth is wasted on the young! – you probably are well versed and immersed in technology. The internet of things and blah, blah, blah here we are mostly meeting and communicating with technology. Even older people are texting their significant other in the garage to come in for dinner. It’s here, it’s us, and yet there is an ugly side to it. We are immersed and struggling. It breaks down barriers yet creates distance. It makes us bold yet untrue to our best selves. It makes us feel overwhelmed, excited, excluded and important all at once.

So for dating, yeah it has changed.

Whole relationships are formed online.

My biggest worries are that it allows people to think, feel, and do 3 things:

  1. Move too fast
  2. Want too much
  3. Give too much

I say move too fast because instant and easy contact is not good for romance. It is true, distance makes the heart grow fonder. We are mysterious creatures and our ability to stay interested has decreased with our waning lack of attention. We are all a little ADD and it comes across in our attempts to forge relationships. I’m not a doctor and I am not a therapist, but all this instant access is taking a toll on our brains.

The second concern is that it makes us want too much. I received a list from a client with outlining her “perfect mate.” It was 50 bullet points. This guy was so perfect I told her that when we find him, make sure he has a brother because I will leave my great partner for him. It was as if Batman, Brad Pitt, and Einstein plus some poets and billionaires were melted into one man. It was a little ridiculous. The internet makes us think we can have it all, in an instant, with the click of a button. I blame Amazon. So as thinking, feeling humans, we need to understand where we are in this internet world and make conscious decisions.

So how is it different? We are different.

I would love to chat more and you can reach me here or visit me on Facebook and send a private message.

I help clients by using my digital marketing expertise to help guide their online presence – from photos to words, to the overall presentation to actual in-person events.

Coach JJ